au where gatsby and nick get married and gatsby’s vows are all addressed to old sport and when the preacher asks if he takes nicholas carraway to be his lawfully wedded husband, gatsby just stands there in confusion for a few minutes and eventually confesses that he has no idea who nicholas carraway is he’s here to marry old sport
So my mom and I have been working the same waitress job for 5-6 years now. She had been waitressing years before, but this is recently. Anyway, about… 15 minutes ago this guy she waited on left and told her to take care. Just that. Prior to this she had talked to him about Italy. Her people are from Florence, this and that, and she said she’s never been. She’s got 8 years of art education and she’s working a waitress job. It’s pretty… Sad and disappointing, I guess. Her and my father divorced 6 years ago and she hasn’t had a real job ever. Just been stuck in a small town she’s not from.
This man who we have never seen before tipped her 1000 dollars for a trip to Italy. Walked out, not another word.
…you know. Just when I start to lose faith in humanity….Hm.
…………….he fucked up the math……it’d be 1060.42$
otherwise the tip was only 999.58$
so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night
you guys think I’m joking??
#IS HIS FACE WHEN KIRK AND SPOCK WALK IN #LIKE LEGIT ‘YAY MUM AND DAD ARE HOME DID YOU BRING ME STUFF?’
This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.
(Source: nothing-but-funny)
In Canada, you don’t say ‘I love you’. You say ‘EH EH MAPLE LEAF QUEEN HAM BACON MOOSE ANTLER EH’ which roughly translates into ‘I’ll give you my snow shovel.’ I think that’s beautiful.
“HOCKEY HOCKEY MAPLE LEAF PUCK.”
what the fuck did you just say about my mom
The best super power ever has to be the power to refill things. Think about it, your glass is empty, refill it without getting up. Your bank account empty, power to refill it. Your bed is empty of a person of your preferred gender, refill it and have some fun.
At first I was all:
Well that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard.
But then I was all like:
GENIUS! PURE UNADULTERATED GENIUS!
